Guilt
by Kyo Tetsuei
Summary: A pilot's birthday, an expected reaction, an unexpected result. SA, not a real pairing, though. Most likely a oneshot.


Why is it that the only stories that I ever finish are sad, angsty fics? Maybe it has to do with the fact that I seem to only write when I'm sad or depressed... Oh well. Here's my latest offering, again, written in a very short amount of time. Inspiration strikes often, but I never actually get around to writing. I should actually write when I get ideas like these. I'm rambling. As usual, I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion, although I wish I did. Anyway, you're not here to read the author's notes...

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Guilt  
A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction  
Written by Kyo Tetsuei

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"Asuka, where's Shinji?" Misato put her beer down, and picked up her chopsticks. The redhead sitting across from her shrugged, a mouthful of rice and grilled fish still in her mouth. She chewed for a while, then swallowed the lot with some miso.

"I'm not sure. I think he left early today. I was still in my room when I heard the door close. At least he left breakfast out for us. I don't think I could stand another one of your offerings of toast that's burnt beyond all recognition. Not too sure if I could survive another one, for that matter."

"Hey, if you don't like it, why don't you cook breakfast for once? Shinji's doing all the work! He cooks, cleans, and does everything in this house! I don't see you doing anything around here."

"I don't see you doing anything either, and besides. Shinji's so wimpy, it's surprising that he does anything well. Might as well let him do something he's good at, since I can beat him in everything else!"

Asuka's glare from across the table could've killed a lesser man, and yet, Misato seemed just as peeved. "That's beside the point. Do you even know what day it is today? He shouldn't be doing any work on his birthday, and yet here we are, sitting at the table eating breakfast that he cooked! Don't you feel any shame? I bet you didn't even know it was his birthday, did you, Asuka?"

"Why should I care about the Invincible Shinji-sama's birthday? It's not like there's any reason for me to want to give him a present. He's worthless anyway, and I don't see why I should spend any of my time worrying about a punk like him..."

"Shinji saved your life, and you could care less? Sometimes, I just don't understand you, Asuka. He's never wronged you, and yet you constantly make him miserable. I really don't understand what you're thinking. I'm late as it is. I won't be home tonight, I have to take care of a ton of paperwork." The Major produced a few bills, and put them on the table. "Here's some money for you two to go out to dinner after your synch tests. Anyhow, I know you probably won't, but think about what I said." With that, Misato left, door hissing shut behind her.

\/\/\/\/

As the classroom door opened, Asuka couldn't believe her eyes. Surrounding Shinji's desk was the largest pile of gift-wrapped boxes she'd ever seen in her life. All different sizes, shapes, and colors, it seemed odd to find a very perplexed and yet sheepish-looking Shinji sitting right in the middle. As she stood there gaping, one more person walked up towards the Third Child, small blue box in hand.

"Wha-?" As Shinji turned his head up to look at the newcomer, he was shocked to find Ayanami Rei's eyes focused on him. Her piercing crimson eyes had him transfixed there for a moment, before he regained his senses enough to realize that she was about to give him a present as well. "A-A-Ayanami! Wha... What's this for?"

The girl pondered this question for a moment, before replying, "Ikari-kun, I am not sure what to do. I believe in this situation, I should be saying 'Happy Birthday'." With that, Rei placed the small box in his hands, and made her way back to her seat. As she sat down, Rei turned to look at Asuka for a brief moment. All the other people in the classroom had been holding their breaths as they observed the pale girl actually interacting with someone. They all followed her gaze to the bewildered redhead,

The camera lens panned from the doorway to the birthday boy. "Hey look, the Demon-girl is here! Hey Shinji, what'd she give you? The world wants to know!"

"What're you talking about, Kensuke? It's the Demon-girl we're talking about here. There's no way she'd get him anythi-ow-ow-ow-leggo!"

Hikari's vice grip on Touji's ear seemed to tighten as she pulled the hapless stooge towards his desk. "Suzuhara-kun, that's not a nice thing to say at all. I'm sure Asuka-chan got Ikari-kun a very nice present, didn't you, Asuka?" Asuka seemed to show the faintest sign of a blush, then replied as she walked towards her desk.

"Hmph. I don't care if it's his birthday, I don't see why I should treat him any differently. It's not like he's anyone special, anyhow." Asuka proceeded to sit down and glare menacingly at anyone who dared venture a glance at the person that had either forgotten, or just plain didn't know about the special day. Just then, the teacher came in, and class began.

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"That's great, Rei, your synch rate seems to be up today. Keep up the good work."

Misato and Ritsuko were observing the images of the three children in their test plugs, and looking at the pilot data that was presented under their respective images. Seeing an opportunity to tease the German girl a little bit, Misato hit the microphone button.

"Asuka, your synch rate seems to be down a few points. Are you feeling guilty about losing even to Rei? She even gave Shinji a new watch!" Seeing Asuka's face light up with indignation, she quickly cut the Second Child off and continued on. "Speaking of the Third Child, there is something very wrong here. Your birthday, you get so many presents Section 2 has to help carrying them away so you can actually get away from your desk, and yet you can't even get Unit-01 to activate! What's wrong with you today, Shinji?"

"I'm sorry..."

"Look, it doesn't seem that you're gonna get your Evangelion to activate, so we'll call it a day. You three can get out of your plugs, and go clean up. I'll spare the debriefing today, there isn't anything really important to discuss anyway. You guys go and have dinner without me. I don't think I'll be home until tomorrow." Almost as if an afterthought, Misato added, "And don't go thinking I forgot about you, Shinji. Happy birthday, kiddo. Have fun with all those presents, okay?"

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"Um, Asuka, why are you going that way?" The younger Ikari had stopped, and was looking at Asuka as she started to turn at a corner that led away from their apartment.

"Wha- What are you talking about? I don't necessarily have to go home with you, do I?" As Shinji started to open his mouth, she continued. "I'm going to go to Hikari's house. I told her I'd be over later to do something with her. Now go home like a good boy, and make sure dinner's ready when I get back, ok? Good."

"But... But I thought we were supposed to order something-"

"I don't remember asking for your opinion, did I? Argh, why am I even arguing with you in the first place? I'm going now. And the food better be ready when I get there... I don't know when I'm getting back, though." With that, Shinji just stood there as he watched her retreating figure go down the street.

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As the door slid open, Asuka looked into the apartment. It was already past 11:00, and she was pretty sure that Shinji had fallen asleep. The Section 2 agents had apparently brought in the presents, and had stacked them neatly in the living room. However, none of them had been opened, save the one small box lying on the coffee table. Asuka recognized this as the present that Ayanami had given him. Lying in the opened box was a simple wristwatch, with NERV's maple leaf logo visible behind the hands of the watch. Turning to the kitchen, she saw a few sandwiches on a tray, along with a note.

-Asuka, Misato called. She asked how dinner was. I told her we went out to that ramen stand we went to before. She said she might be back a little after midnight, so you might want to finish the sandwiches before she comes back, just in case. There is some soup in the fridge, in case you'd want some. It's not much, but I hope you don't mind.

"Hmph. That idiot..." She quietly padded over to his room, and opened the door slightly. From the light streaming in from the hallway, she could tell he had a frown on his face. The knot in her chest tightened somewhat, as she walked to his side, kneeling beside the bed.

"Shinji, I know it looks like I forgot your birthday. I actually knew about it for a while. The reason I didn't get you a present is, well, I couldn't really think of a present suitable for you. But if it was just that, it'd be easy. You see, Shinji, I was afraid. I treat you so badly, and yet you never seem to mind, at least not in the way others do. And yet, you still treat me so nicely, and you keep me out of trouble... I can't really think of a suitable present for you, Third Child. I really hope you'll forgive me."

Eyes growing wetter, she pressed on. "The truth of the matter is, I didn't really go to Hikari-chan's place today. I just couldn't stand having to come home with you, knowing that I had nothing to give you. I couldn't stand the sight of all those presents from those girls at school. I know I'm jealous. I really am. I honestly wish it were as easy for me to express how I feel, but I can't. I'm sorry, Shinji. I've made you wait, all for nothing. I want to apologize, but I realize that it wouldn't do, at this point. I know you don't think much of me, and it would be wishful thinking and selfish of me to assume that this frown on your face is because of me. I just don't know what to do around you, Shinji, but I swear, I'll keep trying, just for you."

She lightly kissed his cheek, and smoothed his wrinkled forehead. Deciding she didn't care what happened afterwards, she softly lay down next to him. Gazing one last time upon her hero, she drifted off to sleep. Unbeknownst to her, Shinji's frown had slowly faded away, replaced by a look of serenity on his visage. Still sleeping, he murmured something that caused the sleeping girl next to him to snuggle closer, almost as if in response.

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12/09/2001

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I actually wrote this story three and a half years ago for the EFML. Having no real reason to keep it under wraps, I decided to set it free. There are no significant changes to this entry since I wrote this back in 2001, so you're pretty much getting what everyone else got way back when. The main reason that I'm posting this one is that I've got a few more on the back burner that I'm dusting off and getting ready to continue writing. Because of this, I figure I'd take care of loose ends and post this, as this was pretty much finished, and it doesn't do me too much good to leave it just on my computer.

07/06/2005


End file.
